


something different

by treefood



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Aimeric (Captive Prince) Lives, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blood and Injury, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury Recovery, M/M, Potentially triggering, Recovery, Suicide Attempt, hi um i didnt realize how soft i was for jord until i wrote this, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21759952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treefood/pseuds/treefood
Summary: “You ask a lot of questions.”“You have a lot of good answers.”Jord smiles, shaking his head before gently rubbing Aimeric’s arm. Aimeric watches him quietly.“I want to trust you, Jord.”“Then trust me.”“It’s not that easy.”
Relationships: Aimeric/Jord (Captive Prince)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	something different

It wasn’t supposed to work like this. It wasn’t supposed to work like this at all. But, all the same, here he was. He didn’t think he would see the light of day again, he didn’t want to. He still doesn’t want to. He can hear the soft breathing of someone in the room with him and when he turns his head to look, his stomach drops. There sits Jord in an old wooden chair, head slumped over as he sleeps. How long has he been there? How long has _Aimeric_ been there? Did he even want to know?

He tries to sit up but his head rushes, sending him right back onto the pillow. He grunts quietly, looking down at his bandaged wrists, then back to Jord. He inhales slowly, trying to sit up again. He gets about a quarter of the way there before a sharp shooting pain fills his whole body and he’s forced to lay back down again. Without realizing it, he’s practically panting. 

He looks down to the bandages again and lifts one arm, his whole body feeling like lead. He reaches for the bandage, fumbling with weak and barely responsive fingers to get them off. He chokes back a grunt, biting down on his lip hard as his fingers protest, pain crawling up both of his arms. He leans back, glances at Jord, who seems to still be sleeping soundly. Eyes still on Jord, he starts to pick off the sides of the bandages, biting down on his lower lip until it starts to bleed some. He huffs, frustrated, and that’s when Jord finally, slowly, opens his eyes and looks at him. They both share a long, silent look with each other. Jord’s a stare of relief and Aimeric can’t help but look a little guilty.

“Aimeric…” He says quietly, slowly standing and walking over to the infirmary bed. “You’re… Oh, my god, you’re alright…”

Aimeric doesn’t want to be okay. He didn’t think this would be happening and now he’s at a loss. He stares at Jord, brows furrowed as his other hand still fiddles with the bandages on his wrist. Jord frowns a little, slowly sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

“You know who I am, don’t you?” Jord asks. That was a stupid question. Of course Aimeric knew who he was. How long had he been out?

“I…” Aimeric’s voice breaks, barely there. He tries to clear his throat, then tries again, staring up at Jord. 

“Don’t push yourself.” He says, so Aimeric just nods in response. Jord breathes a sigh of relief, smiling a little. “Good, good. How’re you feeling? I’ve… I’ve been worried.”

Bullshit. Aimeric knows better. He clears his throat again, slowly moving his hand from his wrist. This obviously isn’t happening.

“Awful.” Aimeric says, staring at the ceiling. He can hear his voice but it doesn’t sound like his. It sounds foreign.

“Are you in pain?”

Of course he’s in pain.

“Yes.”

“I’ll call a doctor.” Jord says.

“Don’t.” Aimeric sits up, gasping at the pain before he lays back down, panting. 

Jord’s eyes flash down to Aimeric’s wrist, one write bleeding much more profusely than the other. He frowns then slowly stands. For the love of christ, Aimeric can’t do this right now. He slowly tries to shift on his side, biting back a groan. The pain is a lot. A lot more than he expected. But, then again, he didn’t expect to be in this situation as is. 

“Jord, _don’t_ ,” he insists angrily. “I’m fine, leave it be.”

Jord ignores him, stepping out of the room, and Aimeric has to act fast. He flops back onto his back. There’s no way he can get this bandage off by the time they can get back. Can he get anything done by the time they get back? He sure is going to try. He digs his fingers into the space just beneath the wound, watching the bandage slowly turn redder. He hisses in pain, turning his head towards the door. He squeezes his wrist until his hands are shaking. Maybe it’s the end, maybe it’s just the pain that finally knocks him out. He hears Jord yell out his name and the doctor comes rushing to his bed, but Aimeric is knocked out, his world slowly fading into black.

When he wakes up again, he’s staring at the same ceiling. He feels the familiar weight of Jord sitting on the bed next to him, his thumb gently rubbing over his knuckles. He’s awake this time, staring down at Aimeric and offering a surprisingly friendly and kind smile. It makes Aimeric’s stomach drop. Why was he still here? Why did it matter? Why was _Aimeric_ still here?

They both stare at each other, hot tears welling up in his eyes. Jord frowns a little, continuing to rub his thumb over Aimeric’s knuckles. Aimeric tries to roll over, his body weak. Careful of his other arm, he does and stares at the wall on the other side of the bed. 

“How’re you feeling?” Jord asks quietly.

“You know how I’m feeling.” Aimeric answers coldly. 

“Aimeric, I just want to help.”

“I don’t want the help!” Aimeric snaps. “Alright? I don’t want it, just go back to your life and fuck off.”

They’re both quiet, Jord staring at the back of Aimeric’s head and Aimeric tried hard to choke back tears. He doesn’t want this anymore, he just wants it all to be over. Is that too much to ask for? There’s nothing left for him here. Jord reaches down gently, softly, and places a warm hand on Aimeric’s shoulder. He instinctively flinches but relaxes after a few moments. He can’t do this anymore, it’s too hard.

“You don’t mean that.” Jord says.

“I do!” He answers, voice thick with tears. “I want you to leave and forget about me and never look back!”

“Aimeric…”

“Why won’t you listen to me?”

Silence, again. Jord stands and Aimeric holds his breath, hoping he finally got the idea. But, no, he just walks around to the other side of the bed and kneels down to look at Aimeric. Aimeric groans, turning his face to press it into the mattress, his long hair hiding his face like a curtain. Jord carefully tucks some of his hair behind his ear, brows furrowed in concern as he watches him.

“Why do you want me to leave so badly?”

“Why won’t you listen to me?” Aimeric asks again, bitterly.

“Aimeric, I…” Jord inhales slowly, planning his next words carefully. “I want to help you through this.”

“Through _what?_ ”

“Don’t.” He says calmly. “You know what I mean. I don’t want you to have to go through this alone. If I wanted to leave, I already would have.”

“That’s not true.” Aimeric croaks. “You feel bad for me, you pity me.”

“What makes you think that?”

There’s a lot of things that _make_ Aimeric think that, but Jord isn’t inherently one of them. The poor man, he hasn’t really done anything wrong. Deep down, Aimeric knows this isn’t fair to him. But he can’t help it, it’s just the way he is. Just the way he was taught and raised. Just the way he was conditioned. 

“What makes you think that, Aimeric?”

Aimeric pulls his face from the mattress and looks at Jord. He slowly rolls back onto his back, his arms aching. Truthfully, he doesn’t want Jord to leave. He doesn’t want to be alone. He’s so frustrated, none of this was supposed to be happening this way. He was supposed to be gone and Jord was supposed to find a wife where he retired to when he was finally done working for stone cold _bitch_ of a prince. They would maybe have kids, a dog or two. His wife would plant fresh herbs and vegetables and he would be a good husband. He would completely forget about Aimeric, the fling he had so long ago. But that wasn’t happening. Instead, they’re both here. Jord sitting next to him, asking what he’s done wrong.

But he’s done nothing wrong and Aimeric knows that. Deep down, he knows he’s just deflecting and that he just wants what he thinks he deserves; miserable and alone for the rest of his life, however long that may be. But Jord is still here, looking at him with worried eyes and comforting him with gentle hands, something foreign to Aimeric until him. 

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” Aimeric says, tears leaking out of his eyes and rolling down the sides of his cheeks. “I-I’m sorry, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Jord stares at him quietly.

“I’m not supposed to be here and neither are you.” He admits. “I wish you would just go. Let me finish what I started. I’m sure the prince will be happy to have you back.”

“I’m sorry too.” Jord says. Aimeric whips his head over to look at him. “Because I’m not leaving.”

Aimeric stares at him, his lower lip quivering for a moment before he looks back up at the ceiling. He closes his eyes, inhaling quietly. Why did he have to make things so difficult? This couldn’t just be easy, it had to be hard.

“Why?”

“I want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I don’t think I’m ever going to be alright, Jord.”

“I want to be here for you during all this.”

“I don’t _want_ you here.”

“I want to be here _with_ you, Aimeric.”

He goes quiet, swallowing down the lump in his throat. He doesn’t have a clever retaliation for that one. 

“You really mean that?” Aimeric asks.

“Of course.”

“You _mean_ that?

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I…” Aimeric weakly shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know.”

Jord reaches out, gently taking Aimeric’s hand. Aimeric holds his hand, closing his eyes and biting his lip hard. Maybe this was supposed to be happening. Maybe Aimeric was wrong. Maybe there was something about Jord that he needed and vice versa.

“What now?” Aimeric asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what happens next?”

“Well…” Jord sighs. “We stay here while you’re still recovering.”

“The prince is going to let you stay here?”

“He’ll call for me when he needs me.” Jord says. “And once you’re well enough to leave, I can take you wherever it is you want to go. Then we’ll go from there.”

“Where could I possibly go? I’m a traitor, remember?” He says shortly, sarcastically.

“Well, there’s my home for starters.”

Aimeric looks at him, eyebrows raised. He stares at him in silent shock before he shakes his head.

“Do you not want to stay with me?” Jord asks.

“I just can’t believe you would have me in your home is all.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Aimeric shrugs. “I just told you I want to be with you, Aimeric. I’m a man true to my word.”

That’s what Aimeric needed. Still, there was a nagging in the back of his head telling him he was wrong. He was lying. He couldn’t be trusted. But Aimeric wanted to trust him so badly.

“How do I know that?” Aimeric asks.

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“You have a lot of good answers.”

Jord smiles, shaking his head before gently rubbing Aimeric’s arm. Aimeric watches him quietly. 

“I want to trust you, Jord.”

“Then trust me.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Alright, well…” Jord runs a hand through his salt and pepper hair. “I’m willing to work with you if you’re willing to work with me.”

“You’ll really have me in your home?”

“ _Of course_.” Jord promises. 

Aimeric had believed that he was supposed to die cold and alone. But, maybe, just maybe he thought something different now. While it was hard to believe and he half expected to wake up and Jord be gone, maybe he could believe that there was something else meant for him. Maybe, as hard as it was, he could try to believe there was something else meant for him,

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably,,,, suuuuuper out of character but like,,,,,,, i just want them to be happy  
> yall know the drill!!! if you liked this leave me some nice comments to read <3 thank you for reading!!!


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